I found an old newspaper cutting in my wallet the other day...dont ask...I just kept it for the hell of it. It reads,
"Longton: Peter ******* (haha looks like his surnames Bollocks or yeah) aged 37, of Blackheath Close, Longton, is accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake from Tesco, in Longton, on August 17. He was given unconditional bail until September 12".
Accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake, you dont get more upper-class than that. I mean what a stupid combination. Why go out of your way to steal a Thai fish cake? Okay you're hungry, but surely you could just nab a scotch egg.
I saw an old woman today whilst shopping with the parents in Shrewsbury and she had on of those "just add water" faces, it was like a prune...GET HYDRATED WOMAN YOU ARE SHRIVELLED.
And Christmas is shit...or was shit, one of the two...Possibly both, can't we just mix Christmas and Easter and crucify santa and make the Elves carry a bastard cross?
Now that I've blasphemed like a bitch, I shall leave.
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