Wooden peg

This week has been mainly full of shite and exams. Why exams cannot be in once place around the university is beyond me, you usually spend half of your time on exam day actually finding the place. Wondering all corners on the city aimlessly looking for something that contains a hundred desks.

The final exam taken was in a gym in the main city campus building, but every chair in the hall was un-oiled. Every movement by all 200 people in the room was rewarded with a creak. It was fantastic when everyone sat down and stood up. And I must say to the twat who kept fidgeting a few seats away from me, you utter fuckslammer.

I also fear that one of my favoruite students on my course has not made it to the second year this year, however I have been seeing him here and there around the city and uni all year. Which is odd, he might still think he's on the course. Wouldn't surprise me.

This guy is the type who turns up to a class every blue moon, and last year I met him when I was outside waiting for a lecture and writing a letter to Rachel (the girlfriend) when he just walks up to me and says "what are you writing"? I found this to be a rather hard question to answer considering it was the last thing I expected to hear from a complete stranger. So I can him a good old simple answer..."a letter". He seemed undettered by this and continued to probe, "what for"? and "whats in it"? I couldn't help but feel was taking the piss, but before I had to answer he had to leave, there may just be a god out there it seemed.

However from this day forth in the first year everytime he turned up to a class he would make a beeline for me and then say nothing but "whats that"? when pointing at he work I was doing. Answers included 'A drawings', 'a pen', 'a divison sign' and a personal favoruite 'a wooden peg'.

This latter one came about when we were studying the fascinating world of soil identification. Using a wooden peg to make a crude establishment of the soil type. Here we had a piece of paper with a massively complicated table and graph...and on the other side a drawing...of a wooden peg. Now to someone who hasnt turned up to a lecture in about 3 months you'd think the question would be on the graph and table...but oh no. He asks me about the wooden peg.

"whats tha?" (bear in mind he also has a strong scouse accent and is a bit dim-witted).

"errr...its a wooden peg" (I tried to give it more explanation but I just couldn't).

"wha's one of them"

And to this day I regard my answer as one of the finest I have ever given to a grown man.

"Its a peg...made of wood"

I even kept a straight face, my friend next to me was clearly struggling to keep it in but he bravely managed it. The nutter however was clearly delighted with the answer and responded enthusiastically with "ahhh right, I see now". So fair play to him, from that day on he became wooden peg...it sounds like a super hero.

FROM THAT DAY FORTH HE WAS KNOWN AS...THE WOODEN PEG.

Could have a tagline of "Round peg, square hole" etc.

In other news, I cant stand Sheffield United fans, moaning bastards. I've purchased viva pinata on the pc...and im breeding rabbit pinatas like there is no tommorow. Im bored a hell now the exams are done but I feel much better for completing them. I have heard no news on my job interview. And I dont like the elderly, unless they're playing drums or discussing the topic of 'youths'.

Other than this I really cannot think of much else.

Oh yeah there was a drunkard near my flat who'd obviously just come out of the local job centre in sheffield and was nursing a can of stella. He was walking up the road ahead of me stopping at even tree on the pavement, and kicking and jumping up and down in the gravel thats bedded beneath them, clearly having a whale of a time. I decided to keep my distance and see how it all developed as he suddenly started pointing at swearing at buildings, starting with the job centre.

"fucking bunch of bastards" and "wankers"

During the distance to the next tree, it was either he was lowering his standards of choice in which building to pick on, or he had a natural hatred of the built environment...however im banking on him being pissed to the point of near blindness. He was pointing and making gestures of all sorts at every building he could make out to be a building. He called the car sales place which sells lotus' "Dickheads". And as for the run down club, they were "wankers" just like the job centre. He was clearly loving it. And on that I decided to leave him too it and make a hasty exit. I wonder what he's doing now, the nutter.

I hope he runs a Creché. Badly. I hope he ignore Health & Safety. Them ball pits best have some asbestos balls in then.