Dear diary, Lorna is being a knob, she is wearing clothes again, this is making me sick...so sick infact that im being sick. When will this shit riddled piss mattress stop bastardising the western world. The shithead. Knob. Lorna Lorna Lorna, why does her name rhyme with Sauna, her skin is white for fucking christs knob.
I am writing this, as she is listening to me dictate it, slowly, as my mouth cannot keep up with my hands as they type. She is questioning me, and her mouth movements do not fit in with the music am playing. She sounds fuck all, like Ian Curtis, but she has the same sizes tits as he did not. Wankers.
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Have you put it in the oven
How about in the fridge
I do hope you havn't woven
It into Midge (Ure)
Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamowerLorna mower, lornamower
Bell ends.
Monday 21 January 2008
Saturday 19 January 2008
Wooden peg
This week has been mainly full of shite and exams. Why exams cannot be in once place around the university is beyond me, you usually spend half of your time on exam day actually finding the place. Wondering all corners on the city aimlessly looking for something that contains a hundred desks.
The final exam taken was in a gym in the main city campus building, but every chair in the hall was un-oiled. Every movement by all 200 people in the room was rewarded with a creak. It was fantastic when everyone sat down and stood up. And I must say to the twat who kept fidgeting a few seats away from me, you utter fuckslammer.
I also fear that one of my favoruite students on my course has not made it to the second year this year, however I have been seeing him here and there around the city and uni all year. Which is odd, he might still think he's on the course. Wouldn't surprise me.
This guy is the type who turns up to a class every blue moon, and last year I met him when I was outside waiting for a lecture and writing a letter to Rachel (the girlfriend) when he just walks up to me and says "what are you writing"? I found this to be a rather hard question to answer considering it was the last thing I expected to hear from a complete stranger. So I can him a good old simple answer..."a letter". He seemed undettered by this and continued to probe, "what for"? and "whats in it"? I couldn't help but feel was taking the piss, but before I had to answer he had to leave, there may just be a god out there it seemed.
However from this day forth in the first year everytime he turned up to a class he would make a beeline for me and then say nothing but "whats that"? when pointing at he work I was doing. Answers included 'A drawings', 'a pen', 'a divison sign' and a personal favoruite 'a wooden peg'.
This latter one came about when we were studying the fascinating world of soil identification. Using a wooden peg to make a crude establishment of the soil type. Here we had a piece of paper with a massively complicated table and graph...and on the other side a drawing...of a wooden peg. Now to someone who hasnt turned up to a lecture in about 3 months you'd think the question would be on the graph and table...but oh no. He asks me about the wooden peg.
"whats tha?" (bear in mind he also has a strong scouse accent and is a bit dim-witted).
"errr...its a wooden peg" (I tried to give it more explanation but I just couldn't).
"wha's one of them"
And to this day I regard my answer as one of the finest I have ever given to a grown man.
"Its a peg...made of wood"
I even kept a straight face, my friend next to me was clearly struggling to keep it in but he bravely managed it. The nutter however was clearly delighted with the answer and responded enthusiastically with "ahhh right, I see now". So fair play to him, from that day on he became wooden peg...it sounds like a super hero.
FROM THAT DAY FORTH HE WAS KNOWN AS...THE WOODEN PEG.
Could have a tagline of "Round peg, square hole" etc.
In other news, I cant stand Sheffield United fans, moaning bastards. I've purchased viva pinata on the pc...and im breeding rabbit pinatas like there is no tommorow. Im bored a hell now the exams are done but I feel much better for completing them. I have heard no news on my job interview. And I dont like the elderly, unless they're playing drums or discussing the topic of 'youths'.
Other than this I really cannot think of much else.
Oh yeah there was a drunkard near my flat who'd obviously just come out of the local job centre in sheffield and was nursing a can of stella. He was walking up the road ahead of me stopping at even tree on the pavement, and kicking and jumping up and down in the gravel thats bedded beneath them, clearly having a whale of a time. I decided to keep my distance and see how it all developed as he suddenly started pointing at swearing at buildings, starting with the job centre.
"fucking bunch of bastards" and "wankers"
During the distance to the next tree, it was either he was lowering his standards of choice in which building to pick on, or he had a natural hatred of the built environment...however im banking on him being pissed to the point of near blindness. He was pointing and making gestures of all sorts at every building he could make out to be a building. He called the car sales place which sells lotus' "Dickheads". And as for the run down club, they were "wankers" just like the job centre. He was clearly loving it. And on that I decided to leave him too it and make a hasty exit. I wonder what he's doing now, the nutter.
I hope he runs a Creché. Badly. I hope he ignore Health & Safety. Them ball pits best have some asbestos balls in then.
The final exam taken was in a gym in the main city campus building, but every chair in the hall was un-oiled. Every movement by all 200 people in the room was rewarded with a creak. It was fantastic when everyone sat down and stood up. And I must say to the twat who kept fidgeting a few seats away from me, you utter fuckslammer.
I also fear that one of my favoruite students on my course has not made it to the second year this year, however I have been seeing him here and there around the city and uni all year. Which is odd, he might still think he's on the course. Wouldn't surprise me.
This guy is the type who turns up to a class every blue moon, and last year I met him when I was outside waiting for a lecture and writing a letter to Rachel (the girlfriend) when he just walks up to me and says "what are you writing"? I found this to be a rather hard question to answer considering it was the last thing I expected to hear from a complete stranger. So I can him a good old simple answer..."a letter". He seemed undettered by this and continued to probe, "what for"? and "whats in it"? I couldn't help but feel was taking the piss, but before I had to answer he had to leave, there may just be a god out there it seemed.
However from this day forth in the first year everytime he turned up to a class he would make a beeline for me and then say nothing but "whats that"? when pointing at he work I was doing. Answers included 'A drawings', 'a pen', 'a divison sign' and a personal favoruite 'a wooden peg'.
This latter one came about when we were studying the fascinating world of soil identification. Using a wooden peg to make a crude establishment of the soil type. Here we had a piece of paper with a massively complicated table and graph...and on the other side a drawing...of a wooden peg. Now to someone who hasnt turned up to a lecture in about 3 months you'd think the question would be on the graph and table...but oh no. He asks me about the wooden peg.
"whats tha?" (bear in mind he also has a strong scouse accent and is a bit dim-witted).
"errr...its a wooden peg" (I tried to give it more explanation but I just couldn't).
"wha's one of them"
And to this day I regard my answer as one of the finest I have ever given to a grown man.
"Its a peg...made of wood"
I even kept a straight face, my friend next to me was clearly struggling to keep it in but he bravely managed it. The nutter however was clearly delighted with the answer and responded enthusiastically with "ahhh right, I see now". So fair play to him, from that day on he became wooden peg...it sounds like a super hero.
FROM THAT DAY FORTH HE WAS KNOWN AS...THE WOODEN PEG.
Could have a tagline of "Round peg, square hole" etc.
In other news, I cant stand Sheffield United fans, moaning bastards. I've purchased viva pinata on the pc...and im breeding rabbit pinatas like there is no tommorow. Im bored a hell now the exams are done but I feel much better for completing them. I have heard no news on my job interview. And I dont like the elderly, unless they're playing drums or discussing the topic of 'youths'.
Other than this I really cannot think of much else.
Oh yeah there was a drunkard near my flat who'd obviously just come out of the local job centre in sheffield and was nursing a can of stella. He was walking up the road ahead of me stopping at even tree on the pavement, and kicking and jumping up and down in the gravel thats bedded beneath them, clearly having a whale of a time. I decided to keep my distance and see how it all developed as he suddenly started pointing at swearing at buildings, starting with the job centre.
"fucking bunch of bastards" and "wankers"
During the distance to the next tree, it was either he was lowering his standards of choice in which building to pick on, or he had a natural hatred of the built environment...however im banking on him being pissed to the point of near blindness. He was pointing and making gestures of all sorts at every building he could make out to be a building. He called the car sales place which sells lotus' "Dickheads". And as for the run down club, they were "wankers" just like the job centre. He was clearly loving it. And on that I decided to leave him too it and make a hasty exit. I wonder what he's doing now, the nutter.
I hope he runs a Creché. Badly. I hope he ignore Health & Safety. Them ball pits best have some asbestos balls in then.
Friday 11 January 2008
How I see the world
I've wrote many things in the past, some comical, others just thoughts. However once I get going im hard to stop. It is good to write, even if they're your own thoughts and when you live in the country in a small, dim, cut-off village with no amenities other than a rusted post-box, you get alot of time to yourself. Therefore I do a fair bit of thinking and writing.
Despite being 19, I feel like im knocking on the door of 40 and awaiting a mid-life crisis. Maybe because all I see everyday is stupidity and I cannot truly see the point to doing many things in life. People are always pressuring us to earn money, drive fast cars, own big homes and consume consume consume. What really is the point? If you decide to stop and only obtain what you need in life, everyone scrutinizes you. They look upon on you as if you are conjuring up a dastardly plan for world domination or that you are plotting their downfall.
Around 3 years ago I had some pretty strong views. God knows what happened but I am not the same person I used to be by a long way. I used to be consistently angry with the world and want to change things, all I do now is except things as they are and think “let it be”. For 3 years to breed such contempt for everything I once despaired over destroys me inside, it really does.
I can’t stand my own generation. One full of image conscious, media blinded fools who follow ‘fashionable’ politics. They rave about helping the poor, feeding Africa and solving social deprivation with 'cool' communist ideologies. Yet all they seem to do is purchase an I-pod, put on some Converse, stage a music festival and wear Che Guevara T-shirts. To see these so called ‘communists’ flaunting such wealth makes me sigh at the hypocrisy. A generation in which ‘fun’ is defined as getting drunk, where ‘drunk’ is classified as ‘comatose’. A generation which declares it suffers from the ‘stresses’ of a modern world, using it as an excuse to act like twats or take hardline drugs.
On that point, why do people do things to fit in with everyone else? It is pathetic to see people smoking weed or whatever only when someone else offers it. I honestly do not get the whole drug culture, and how its seen as being cool and fashionable. I truly hate it when people try to impress others with their drug taking history. Who gives a fuck? Whats that? You've done crack? Oh woop dee doo, let me cosult my 'Do I Give A Shit-ometer', it flashing up on "Fuck off" it seems. If you need a drug to get your kicks or fit in better, then frankly thats a bit bastard shit for you, you insecure bastards. There again, each to their own.
I despise those older than me for their constant put downs to the generations below. A usual rant every summer when exam scores are released is...
“Exams are getting too easy nowadays, now in my day when we had the O level…now they were a challenge”
Why do they see such high pass rates? Maybe because they created a society where anyone who doesn’t get good enough grades to get into higher education disappears into borderline poverty. They raised the stakes and they can’t stand to see that the generation below them has risen to the challenge and upped the bar. They give no gratitude, no encouragement, nothing. Then wonder why the so called ‘youth of today’ have ‘gone off the rails’. They once were given respect, they gave us none back. Respect must be nurtured; it doesn’t maintain itself, like a plant, it will wilt over the course of time. The rot started here, the contempt started here, it all starts here. What we are burdened with now spreads its roots here, with a generation which settles disputes on chat shows and in courtrooms.
We’re a society that’s quite rare, it is one that’s never experienced a war, and from what I can see, this is a bad thing. As horrible as that is to hear, it’s true. No one wants to work together with each other, everyone’s against one another. There is no pride in this nation and no desire to keep it strong and secure. Many blame it on, foreign nationals or those of different religion and culture. This however is just a scapegoat, just like in Nazi Germany in the 1930’s where Jews were used as a tool to place the blame. However, as was the case then, the real issue lies within the state itself. It is to blame for its lack of pride in itself. Not decent upstanding foreigners who come over here to slog their arses off to do jobs the average Englishman can no longer be arsed to do, as he’d rather take the social benefits instead of some real work. We do not focus on the majority who come over here to make something of theselves. Instead we focus on the minority who do not adapt to our society and yes, I admit, these people must be dealt with to prevent re-occurence. The reason this country has gone to shit however, is a lack of people wanting to work, to pull their fingers out of their arses and stop blaming everyone else. The lack of responsibility is frankly appalling.
(If you've got this far then bugger me, you're doing well).
The younger section of society blames everything on capitalism. It is supposedly ‘cool’ to blame such a system. There are people everywhere shouting and screaming about communism and socialism. Like it’d make any difference whatsoever? No system works in a society. We’re all too obnoxious to do anything to help ourselves. The human race is a curse unto itself it seems.
While im at it, I must say the one thing that really irritates me is religion. The human races one great flaw, religion, the unwavering need to believe in something ‘unworldly’…and why? For ‘comfort and sanctity’ from the world it seems according to those who I ask. So we believe in things we cannot prove or grasp and understand in order to provide comfort? Such things only provide comfort to those who are contempt with not challenging anything in life. How can there be a religion in a world full of hate and despair? What sort of sick, sadist of a god gets a kick out of rape, murder, genocide, infanticide and natural disaster? Is god Fred West? I bastard hope not. No a god of mine could ever exist in a world like this. I can’t help but feel that everyone in this world should believe in themselves, and each other, not in false teachings, supposedly holy books, artefacts and gods. If we just believed in ourselves and those around us, maybe just maybe, we would become a decent race that progresses. Maybe this accounts for another reason for why I am feeling the way I am, why I feel empty and that I’m missing something, because I refuse to believe in anything other than myself? Or is it because I cannot find anyone out there to believe in me? Who knows?
Religion is simply a tool, propaganda if you must, to rally once separated peoples under one banner, to unite them against a common enemy. Emperor Constantine of the Roman Empire, a man celebrated much by Christians. He brought Christianity to the Roman Empire, and why? The empire had an increasing number of Christians within it and some Romans worshipping traditional Roman gods. It was too difficult to divide his people on the grounds of him vs. his enemy…however he could easily divide them by religion, and he could gain a stronger support but converting his empire to Christianity. God is a weapon. Why does the bible keep changing and evolving? Supposedly to reflect the state of society, how can a religious document do this? Religion is always used as a weapon by those in seemingly untenable positions. Religion causes regression. It has never been any other way.
The Media is another aspect of our society which further aids regression. It fuels the fire of discontent at the back of fragile and somewhat dim-witted minds with their propaganda. The phrasing of stories to portray their views no matter what the occasion would delight any soothsayer.
I’ve witnessed those close to me slowly get caught and manipulated by media writing especially from newspapers to believe twisted versions of the truth. I suppose this transition has been one of the big causes of my disillusionment with society as a whole. These causes range from political to that of musical and social disillusionment. Nothing applies to me any more. Nothing is specific to me. New music, new trends, new phases, new movements, new cultures, new ideologies (or re-branded ones it seems), none apply to me. I see myself turning further back in time for music, inspiration and influence. I see myself losing acquaintances at a faster rate than I acquire them. I find myself stuck in a rut, in a black hole that only devours me. I can’t bear the country I live in, the city of my birth, my fellow locals, any of it. All I see is a rise in local loyalties and extreme nationalism. What’s next? Feudalism? Will we go to war with the French? For old times sake at least? I find it all increasingly pathetic. The world moves on and this country and my home town just does not seem to move with it.
I come from Stoke-on-Trent, a city made up of towns, which for some ungodly reason have been linked together through the endless urban sprawl we get due to slack laws on green field developments. Stoke and its inhabitants like 50 years behind the rest of the UK. It thinks it should still be mining seams of coal and producing pottery despite the rest of the world doing all this at a much cheaper (and in some cases better) products. Stoke is full of backward thinking, illiterate, dull, dim-witted individuals with cave-man personas. When people ask where I come from, what the hell do I say? "Outside of Stoke", to say you're from it automatically associates it either Shit or Robbie Williams, and believe me they're pratically one of the same. Stokies in a nut shell spend far too long thinking about what it has been. They don't turn their attention to what it is becoming. A half way point in the UK, where haulage companies and supermarkets build distribution warehouses. Where the old industrial sector has an alarming growth in safe storage lock ups. Is this the future of stoke? If so, see you all later, Im off.
I used to love Stoke, I once had a great pride in it, that was until I actually looked at it in more detail, I looked behind the facades of shops, down alleyways, in the rougher areas. I looked at the queue outside the job centre. I sat down on a bench in the centre of the high street and watched. Bastard hell, I saw some shit that day. Still, I have a wierd love for the football team and I will never know why.
If we were to uncover the main reason behind everything that has caused me to be where I am now it would revolve around politics. A nation that has over a decade of one party rule, under the same head of state is not a democracy. Society changes rapidly, far outpacing governments and policy. How can a government justify a 4 to 5 year period of power without a change between these periods of governor or anything? It can never maintain such popularity over this period therefore. This creates a bigger number of people turning against the party. This just creates disillusionment. Once an election has been won, the defeated are demoralised. They effectively can do nothing until the next election. This applies not only to parties but also to the people. These people then drift aimlessly and try to exploit minor openings and claim petty victories.
All that needs to be done every election is to alternate between Labour and Conversative, even a change as simple as that will introduce massive differences. There will no longer be stupid 10 year plans, projects will be completed quicker, goals will be achievable and there will not be as much slack behaviour from politicians. It is so bastard simple yet people just turn to the extreme parties and expect to see a change. Yes, they will get a change all right, just one that sets us back 20 years. Well done.
Despite this the UK needs revitalising. It needs a brighter future. We need to focus on development of education and create a new breed of thinkers. In the 17th century onwards we generated some of the greatest thinkers since ancient Greece. We need to re-create this, we need to develop a highly efficient and strong education system. Everything else stems from education. This is not seen in our current society. Focus goes to the economy and on unemployment and inflation etc. If we have thinkers, we innovate, we develop and change. We adapt to society and reduce disillusionment as we become society. We become the economy. The world rotates around us and this is what our focus should be on. New thinking creates new approaches, which keeps us ahead of the game
So we come back to the beginning. It seems that once you ‘grow up’ so to speak, you accept defeat. Thus allowing defeatism and inevitability become an instant part of your life. You lose your anger with the world, you forget your past hates and the things that once made your skin boil and keep you awake at night. You become complacent, and contempt despite the madness around you. You keep your head, you keep yourself, you accept the world and everyone in it as they are, and you accept that you alone cannot change a thing. It is refreshing to see that not everyone in the world has given up on making a difference. There again it depends if you are in the situation to make a difference. Some still chase their young ambitions, it is refreshing to se as we all should...We should not forget the thoughts and ambitions we once had purely because we thought (and knew) we couldnt achieve them. These are the thoughts that matter. I suppose a little part of me will always try to change and revolutionise…but it secretly knows that there is no point. I know such things should be left to those wanting to forward their careers (and sell more albums).
Growing up is all about accepting society and in a sense, the futility of everything. Knowing that you will be nothing but a small cog in a vast machine that hasn’t been well maintained. Surely the meaning of life is that there isn’t one? Or if there is then it must be simply “accept futility”. I’m sure if you’ve been reading this then you have lost me by now….long before now in fact. To be frank I’ve lost myself.
Despite being 19, I feel like im knocking on the door of 40 and awaiting a mid-life crisis. Maybe because all I see everyday is stupidity and I cannot truly see the point to doing many things in life. People are always pressuring us to earn money, drive fast cars, own big homes and consume consume consume. What really is the point? If you decide to stop and only obtain what you need in life, everyone scrutinizes you. They look upon on you as if you are conjuring up a dastardly plan for world domination or that you are plotting their downfall.
Around 3 years ago I had some pretty strong views. God knows what happened but I am not the same person I used to be by a long way. I used to be consistently angry with the world and want to change things, all I do now is except things as they are and think “let it be”. For 3 years to breed such contempt for everything I once despaired over destroys me inside, it really does.
I can’t stand my own generation. One full of image conscious, media blinded fools who follow ‘fashionable’ politics. They rave about helping the poor, feeding Africa and solving social deprivation with 'cool' communist ideologies. Yet all they seem to do is purchase an I-pod, put on some Converse, stage a music festival and wear Che Guevara T-shirts. To see these so called ‘communists’ flaunting such wealth makes me sigh at the hypocrisy. A generation in which ‘fun’ is defined as getting drunk, where ‘drunk’ is classified as ‘comatose’. A generation which declares it suffers from the ‘stresses’ of a modern world, using it as an excuse to act like twats or take hardline drugs.
On that point, why do people do things to fit in with everyone else? It is pathetic to see people smoking weed or whatever only when someone else offers it. I honestly do not get the whole drug culture, and how its seen as being cool and fashionable. I truly hate it when people try to impress others with their drug taking history. Who gives a fuck? Whats that? You've done crack? Oh woop dee doo, let me cosult my 'Do I Give A Shit-ometer', it flashing up on "Fuck off" it seems. If you need a drug to get your kicks or fit in better, then frankly thats a bit bastard shit for you, you insecure bastards. There again, each to their own.
I despise those older than me for their constant put downs to the generations below. A usual rant every summer when exam scores are released is...
“Exams are getting too easy nowadays, now in my day when we had the O level…now they were a challenge”
Why do they see such high pass rates? Maybe because they created a society where anyone who doesn’t get good enough grades to get into higher education disappears into borderline poverty. They raised the stakes and they can’t stand to see that the generation below them has risen to the challenge and upped the bar. They give no gratitude, no encouragement, nothing. Then wonder why the so called ‘youth of today’ have ‘gone off the rails’. They once were given respect, they gave us none back. Respect must be nurtured; it doesn’t maintain itself, like a plant, it will wilt over the course of time. The rot started here, the contempt started here, it all starts here. What we are burdened with now spreads its roots here, with a generation which settles disputes on chat shows and in courtrooms.
We’re a society that’s quite rare, it is one that’s never experienced a war, and from what I can see, this is a bad thing. As horrible as that is to hear, it’s true. No one wants to work together with each other, everyone’s against one another. There is no pride in this nation and no desire to keep it strong and secure. Many blame it on, foreign nationals or those of different religion and culture. This however is just a scapegoat, just like in Nazi Germany in the 1930’s where Jews were used as a tool to place the blame. However, as was the case then, the real issue lies within the state itself. It is to blame for its lack of pride in itself. Not decent upstanding foreigners who come over here to slog their arses off to do jobs the average Englishman can no longer be arsed to do, as he’d rather take the social benefits instead of some real work. We do not focus on the majority who come over here to make something of theselves. Instead we focus on the minority who do not adapt to our society and yes, I admit, these people must be dealt with to prevent re-occurence. The reason this country has gone to shit however, is a lack of people wanting to work, to pull their fingers out of their arses and stop blaming everyone else. The lack of responsibility is frankly appalling.
(If you've got this far then bugger me, you're doing well).
The younger section of society blames everything on capitalism. It is supposedly ‘cool’ to blame such a system. There are people everywhere shouting and screaming about communism and socialism. Like it’d make any difference whatsoever? No system works in a society. We’re all too obnoxious to do anything to help ourselves. The human race is a curse unto itself it seems.
While im at it, I must say the one thing that really irritates me is religion. The human races one great flaw, religion, the unwavering need to believe in something ‘unworldly’…and why? For ‘comfort and sanctity’ from the world it seems according to those who I ask. So we believe in things we cannot prove or grasp and understand in order to provide comfort? Such things only provide comfort to those who are contempt with not challenging anything in life. How can there be a religion in a world full of hate and despair? What sort of sick, sadist of a god gets a kick out of rape, murder, genocide, infanticide and natural disaster? Is god Fred West? I bastard hope not. No a god of mine could ever exist in a world like this. I can’t help but feel that everyone in this world should believe in themselves, and each other, not in false teachings, supposedly holy books, artefacts and gods. If we just believed in ourselves and those around us, maybe just maybe, we would become a decent race that progresses. Maybe this accounts for another reason for why I am feeling the way I am, why I feel empty and that I’m missing something, because I refuse to believe in anything other than myself? Or is it because I cannot find anyone out there to believe in me? Who knows?
Religion is simply a tool, propaganda if you must, to rally once separated peoples under one banner, to unite them against a common enemy. Emperor Constantine of the Roman Empire, a man celebrated much by Christians. He brought Christianity to the Roman Empire, and why? The empire had an increasing number of Christians within it and some Romans worshipping traditional Roman gods. It was too difficult to divide his people on the grounds of him vs. his enemy…however he could easily divide them by religion, and he could gain a stronger support but converting his empire to Christianity. God is a weapon. Why does the bible keep changing and evolving? Supposedly to reflect the state of society, how can a religious document do this? Religion is always used as a weapon by those in seemingly untenable positions. Religion causes regression. It has never been any other way.
The Media is another aspect of our society which further aids regression. It fuels the fire of discontent at the back of fragile and somewhat dim-witted minds with their propaganda. The phrasing of stories to portray their views no matter what the occasion would delight any soothsayer.
I’ve witnessed those close to me slowly get caught and manipulated by media writing especially from newspapers to believe twisted versions of the truth. I suppose this transition has been one of the big causes of my disillusionment with society as a whole. These causes range from political to that of musical and social disillusionment. Nothing applies to me any more. Nothing is specific to me. New music, new trends, new phases, new movements, new cultures, new ideologies (or re-branded ones it seems), none apply to me. I see myself turning further back in time for music, inspiration and influence. I see myself losing acquaintances at a faster rate than I acquire them. I find myself stuck in a rut, in a black hole that only devours me. I can’t bear the country I live in, the city of my birth, my fellow locals, any of it. All I see is a rise in local loyalties and extreme nationalism. What’s next? Feudalism? Will we go to war with the French? For old times sake at least? I find it all increasingly pathetic. The world moves on and this country and my home town just does not seem to move with it.
I come from Stoke-on-Trent, a city made up of towns, which for some ungodly reason have been linked together through the endless urban sprawl we get due to slack laws on green field developments. Stoke and its inhabitants like 50 years behind the rest of the UK. It thinks it should still be mining seams of coal and producing pottery despite the rest of the world doing all this at a much cheaper (and in some cases better) products. Stoke is full of backward thinking, illiterate, dull, dim-witted individuals with cave-man personas. When people ask where I come from, what the hell do I say? "Outside of Stoke", to say you're from it automatically associates it either Shit or Robbie Williams, and believe me they're pratically one of the same. Stokies in a nut shell spend far too long thinking about what it has been. They don't turn their attention to what it is becoming. A half way point in the UK, where haulage companies and supermarkets build distribution warehouses. Where the old industrial sector has an alarming growth in safe storage lock ups. Is this the future of stoke? If so, see you all later, Im off.
I used to love Stoke, I once had a great pride in it, that was until I actually looked at it in more detail, I looked behind the facades of shops, down alleyways, in the rougher areas. I looked at the queue outside the job centre. I sat down on a bench in the centre of the high street and watched. Bastard hell, I saw some shit that day. Still, I have a wierd love for the football team and I will never know why.
If we were to uncover the main reason behind everything that has caused me to be where I am now it would revolve around politics. A nation that has over a decade of one party rule, under the same head of state is not a democracy. Society changes rapidly, far outpacing governments and policy. How can a government justify a 4 to 5 year period of power without a change between these periods of governor or anything? It can never maintain such popularity over this period therefore. This creates a bigger number of people turning against the party. This just creates disillusionment. Once an election has been won, the defeated are demoralised. They effectively can do nothing until the next election. This applies not only to parties but also to the people. These people then drift aimlessly and try to exploit minor openings and claim petty victories.
All that needs to be done every election is to alternate between Labour and Conversative, even a change as simple as that will introduce massive differences. There will no longer be stupid 10 year plans, projects will be completed quicker, goals will be achievable and there will not be as much slack behaviour from politicians. It is so bastard simple yet people just turn to the extreme parties and expect to see a change. Yes, they will get a change all right, just one that sets us back 20 years. Well done.
Despite this the UK needs revitalising. It needs a brighter future. We need to focus on development of education and create a new breed of thinkers. In the 17th century onwards we generated some of the greatest thinkers since ancient Greece. We need to re-create this, we need to develop a highly efficient and strong education system. Everything else stems from education. This is not seen in our current society. Focus goes to the economy and on unemployment and inflation etc. If we have thinkers, we innovate, we develop and change. We adapt to society and reduce disillusionment as we become society. We become the economy. The world rotates around us and this is what our focus should be on. New thinking creates new approaches, which keeps us ahead of the game
So we come back to the beginning. It seems that once you ‘grow up’ so to speak, you accept defeat. Thus allowing defeatism and inevitability become an instant part of your life. You lose your anger with the world, you forget your past hates and the things that once made your skin boil and keep you awake at night. You become complacent, and contempt despite the madness around you. You keep your head, you keep yourself, you accept the world and everyone in it as they are, and you accept that you alone cannot change a thing. It is refreshing to see that not everyone in the world has given up on making a difference. There again it depends if you are in the situation to make a difference. Some still chase their young ambitions, it is refreshing to se as we all should...We should not forget the thoughts and ambitions we once had purely because we thought (and knew) we couldnt achieve them. These are the thoughts that matter. I suppose a little part of me will always try to change and revolutionise…but it secretly knows that there is no point. I know such things should be left to those wanting to forward their careers (and sell more albums).
Growing up is all about accepting society and in a sense, the futility of everything. Knowing that you will be nothing but a small cog in a vast machine that hasn’t been well maintained. Surely the meaning of life is that there isn’t one? Or if there is then it must be simply “accept futility”. I’m sure if you’ve been reading this then you have lost me by now….long before now in fact. To be frank I’ve lost myself.
Thursday 10 January 2008
A word of advice
When purchasing a new laptop/pc, and you'e looking at space and amount of Gig the computer has. Don't just look for the highest as this usually means one thing.
2 bastard hard drives. This means 2 bastard hard drives that must be defragmented separately. So far its been going for about...oooh 32 hours. Okay I admit this isnt the worst I've had considering this is a pretty good laptop, he old PC once took 3 days, there again it was shit. Im going to start it up again later it has many tasty treats such as well old files, old songs once made in the land of yore etc.
Bloody hell, im watching darts on good old BBC 2. Right before I say anything im not one to go mental over health and safety, political correctnes or racism or any shit like that. However I do notice when something could go wrong, is wrong or is just plain stupid and may offend some overly sensitive dipshit in a small corner of the world usually outside of Buckinghamshire.
But anyways, these dart players, playing for the money and glory of a world championship, they're swigging beer whilst playing some of them. Where is the health and safety in that? I like it, im infact loving it. What if one of them suddenly whips himself into a drunken rage and hurls darts into the crowd. Christ this is edge of the seat stuff.
2 bastard hard drives. This means 2 bastard hard drives that must be defragmented separately. So far its been going for about...oooh 32 hours. Okay I admit this isnt the worst I've had considering this is a pretty good laptop, he old PC once took 3 days, there again it was shit. Im going to start it up again later it has many tasty treats such as well old files, old songs once made in the land of yore etc.
Bloody hell, im watching darts on good old BBC 2. Right before I say anything im not one to go mental over health and safety, political correctnes or racism or any shit like that. However I do notice when something could go wrong, is wrong or is just plain stupid and may offend some overly sensitive dipshit in a small corner of the world usually outside of Buckinghamshire.
But anyways, these dart players, playing for the money and glory of a world championship, they're swigging beer whilst playing some of them. Where is the health and safety in that? I like it, im infact loving it. What if one of them suddenly whips himself into a drunken rage and hurls darts into the crowd. Christ this is edge of the seat stuff.
Wednesday 9 January 2008
Mirror, Signal, PUT THAT BASTARD CAMERA DOWN.
I love words me, I like it even more when people make up bullshitted ones. A friend of mine, upon talking about a cat, said the following:
"...thats double funny cuz cats casnt talk and chat is french for cat"
What the bloody hell is 'Casn't', I dont know but I'd love to find out. I hope all children have to learn and make up new words, that would be a real boost to the education system.
Also when inquring about the smell and sound of anothers fart, or a fart of ones own. The following word should be used "Smound", this collectively pools together the words smell and sound. Thus taking out all of the problems of having to say 2 or 3 words, now only 1 needs to be used. EFFICIENCY!
This might sound odd but I fancy the idea of shitting myself in public (whilst clad in shorts) just to see the reaction of the general public, now dont look at me that way. Just imagine the responses from people, some may come to help, others will point and the rest will run like fuck... those latter people, running like hell will be the ones I shall chase, with my legs covered in shit. Sounds like a plan.
I've recently gone through a massive song writing insurgence, not soppy or dark and deeply influential lyrics...but bullshit ones, my current finished piece is a heart warming tale about an astronaunt caught short on a spacewalk...and he goes on to talk to his space suit, and queries it on whether he can open his bowels in it. Space suit is all like "what the fu...oh go on then" kinda style. I'd write it up on here, but I bet the Kaiser Twunts lot would steal it. Plus I dont ever want to appear in NME, I fear my hair is just too shit, and not gayed up enough.
Also speaking of the NME crowd, how come people take photos with a camera, infront of a mirror? Why not just put the camera on a timer, stick in on a ledge and then pose infront of it until the picture is taken? No too easy I guess. I dont see the arty flair on photography with a mirror, I mean you are obscuring the shot with your shitty camera! I dont want to see your camera, if I did I'd message you, using only my mind and the odd ear movement saying "SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING CAMERA". So leave it out yeah, no one wants to see you posing with your electronics, you wouldn't find me doing it.
This is me, and my remote control, those with a keen eye will note the following:
- Munted face, with a million fillings, non-malgum might I add...ONLY FOR FINEST FOR MOI.
- Sellotape on remote whose "5" button no longer works, is this a blessing or a curse? 5 is shit now as there is no shit on it anymore, no piss poor adult films, no token nazi documentaries such as "Hitlers favourite dog" and "Hitlers love of Flower Arranging: Pine-al Solution", but I guess there is always late night Ice Hockey.
I had an interview today with a well known construction company, it went well apparently I pretty much have the job. FUN FUN FUN, it will just mean a life of endless travelling in construction. Like a gypsy builder. Except when I come to find residence, I dont tarmac over a field and stick up a wooden picket fence and wheel in a twin-axle caravan. Although I will do if you look at me like that once more.
I've also purchased a number of things off ebay and play.com...including what I thought to be 'mini' remote controlled airplane. It was cheap, I dont know how well it works but the video looked good and Im a sucker for gadgets and I want to spend some money on myself for a change. However this mini plane has a half meter plus wingspan. Hopefully I'll smash it up in the first 5 minutes. SUCH IS MY EXCESSIVE LIFESTYLE.
This is me with an electric shaver...yeah, not bad eh. Twats. For those of you interested...and I mean in all honestly...why the fuck would you not be interested in my electronics? That is a Phillips shaver, tri headed, with spongey style head which MOULDS around my BASTARD face. Shavemuch? Fucktanners.
Lately I've developed my hate of squirrels, the grey ones of course. Im really trying to evelop new ways of flinging stuff at them. I've hit them with elastic bands, im fired stones from catapults at them. There is a rifle somewhere but this is over kill I fear. I need something new, personally I feel like I need a crossbow. However they are not exactly the eaiest thing to make as I dont exactly have a mass of equiptment available to me. If anyone knows of a method of an easy crossbow then fire away...OH HO HO HO, fire away, crossbow...fire....cross...bow...wankers.
Oh for those who want some comedy during the daytime, then turn over to Bargain Hunt. Now sit back and watch as so called experts and people who think they know all about antiques manage to finish the show with -£100 pounds. Now the show calls this figure a "Profit of minus £100 pounds". You bastard what now? No wonder we're in a fucking credit crisis, people think debt is profit! Silly people, debt is not profit.
Oh a more sombering note, since when did Hillary Clinton suddenly develop wrinkles and become 60+ and shit? God damn.
Oh yeah and errr, this is me with a giant wooden lighthouse scultpure...I know...its not electronic, but Lighthousemuch? THIS IS FUCKING SHIT, IM ENDING THIS HERE.
Saturday 5 January 2008
I love the new year me
I found an old newspaper cutting in my wallet the other day...dont ask...I just kept it for the hell of it. It reads,
"Longton: Peter ******* (haha looks like his surnames Bollocks or yeah) aged 37, of Blackheath Close, Longton, is accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake from Tesco, in Longton, on August 17. He was given unconditional bail until September 12".
Accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake, you dont get more upper-class than that. I mean what a stupid combination. Why go out of your way to steal a Thai fish cake? Okay you're hungry, but surely you could just nab a scotch egg.
I saw an old woman today whilst shopping with the parents in Shrewsbury and she had on of those "just add water" faces, it was like a prune...GET HYDRATED WOMAN YOU ARE SHRIVELLED.
And Christmas is shit...or was shit, one of the two...Possibly both, can't we just mix Christmas and Easter and crucify santa and make the Elves carry a bastard cross?
Now that I've blasphemed like a bitch, I shall leave.
"Longton: Peter ******* (haha looks like his surnames Bollocks or yeah) aged 37, of Blackheath Close, Longton, is accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake from Tesco, in Longton, on August 17. He was given unconditional bail until September 12".
Accused of stealing cream and a Thai fish cake, you dont get more upper-class than that. I mean what a stupid combination. Why go out of your way to steal a Thai fish cake? Okay you're hungry, but surely you could just nab a scotch egg.
I saw an old woman today whilst shopping with the parents in Shrewsbury and she had on of those "just add water" faces, it was like a prune...GET HYDRATED WOMAN YOU ARE SHRIVELLED.
And Christmas is shit...or was shit, one of the two...Possibly both, can't we just mix Christmas and Easter and crucify santa and make the Elves carry a bastard cross?
Now that I've blasphemed like a bitch, I shall leave.
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