I'm feeling musical today don't know why, maybe because I've had songs in my head all day whilst trying to focus on the delightful world of construction contracts and Collateral warranties...FUN FUN FUN I CAN ASSURE YOU.
I've been on a Joy Division/New Order bender this week, with a sloshing of Radiohead to top it off. No its not depressing, I just find people are afraid of music that actually has a little bit of meaning behind it that isnt all samey. This is possibly a reason why I don't understand the whole "emo" tag for shit. Surely most music is somewhat emotional? I can't really hack the word 'depressing' in relation to music either. I hate the word to be frank, its over-used and related to this, that, everything and something...Mostly when it does not warrant the use of it. "Oh I've had a really bad day, im so depressed"..."God there was a dress in a shop and they only have it in a size 10...oh god im so depressed"...Wankers.
However, enough that, I'm absolutely loving it. Joy Division are musically just what i'm looking for. Gritty yet theres something there thats substantial as opposed to just plain punk which after a few years of listening to, can sound a bit samey. It sounds bizarre but I sort of class Joy Division the same as The Dead Kennedys, maybe not on musical sound or content (some similarities exist in the lyrics I guess) but more on the impact it has on me and my life.
When it comes to music I must say I find myself in a strange position, not quite here, not quite there. I guess its good for keeping options open but at the same time you don't actually belong to anything imparticular...But there again, would you really want to belong to a group or style of music that only plays that style? Where is the diversity? I'll gladly go from Radiohead to T.Rex, to The Dead Kennedys and the Clash and then end up with Blur, before having a Bob Dylan encore.
Music is nostalgia, a certain band or song can suddenly whip up a shitstorm of memories and such bullshittery, I like that. I mean Muse's older stuff instantly sends me back to the college years...which for most people is pretty standard. Muse seem to be 'that band you liked in college'. A stepping stone to more niche musical markets. However I just cannot get into tht latest album, it makes me feel kind of bad. They seem to a midway house between a number of things. Ah well.
I like to try and find something good out of everything in music, I can appreciate pop and understand dance. However I can't for the life of me fathom 80's "glam" (maybe? The image represents that of glam) Rock (shitty term that covers pretty much everything). I mean pretty much everything withered in the 80's. Pop degenerated into Madonna and Culture Club etc. The sons just sound so samey and aged compared to 60's and 70's music. I really don't get it. It's as if the industry went backwards. Punk did well out of the 80's (If people actually like anything with associated with the word 'punk' (as you can tell I hate genre names) but I love the stuff when its not all sounding the same as something before it *cough* Buzzcocks *cough*) with Black Flag and the Dead Kennedys, The Clash and even the Ramones had a good bash throughout it, but other than that i'm struggling to see what went well.
Im not slurring the Buzzcocks, but for the love of god, how on earth they sold records is beyond me, they have one track called 'lipstick' which is notable in my eyes...or through my ears I should say. Other than that its more or less..."Here is the song title, lets repeat it over the same riff over a 2 minute period".
The likes of Bowie, Queen and Bob Dylan all went shite in the 80's. A decade of awkwardness. I'd say musically it was the worst decade, although im struggling to find anything decent to come out the current one, which I can't even think of the name for it...the naughties? I must say possibly on par with 80's if not a little worse.
I really should go buy more albums, but ive been abusing the Lastfm.com full song playback feature and youtube. I would buy them this week end but its mothers day, so balls to that I guess. Balls to it all.
Anyway fuck knows why I've typed this, but Im a bit bored and a bit tired and I dont have much to do other than work and I've been doing that since half 9 this morning and I only finished at 7.30pm...ITS NOT EVEN 9 TO 5. This is shit.
Thursday, 28 February 2008
Sunday, 17 February 2008
What's all this then?!
It is amazing how little can happen in about a month. Late January to Mid February has possibly been the dullest time of my life since the month of August before I left to start uni. Nothing has really happened.
I can't help but notice the standards on my course again. They make me look like a bloody genious. People who can't divide numbers, cant produce simple mathematical equations and others who just can't do anything other than tell your mum jokes.
Sitting in a lecture, about the perils of horse hair plaster and other such bastardry items. Horse hair plaster contains anthrax. The lecturer then calls out "does anybody know what anthrax is"?
The reply from a student behind was a good one if he was joking "They're a band". Luckily because the room is filled with 90's dance converts who follow indiepiss (as opposed to indie) music now, they didn't understand a fecking word of what was being said. The lecturer must have wished for an early death that night, he really cannot get through to half of them, none of them can.
About most things in general, is it really hard for people to open their eyes and see what the rest of the world is doing? To know about other things other than things that affect their personal lives? I dont want to be one of those bastards who makes a big song and dance about someone not knowing something, I dont do it for laughs, I dont find it funny. I really find it incredible and somewhat demoralising when someone doesnt know if Malta is an island or a sweet product.
Mmmmm thats a tasty Malta right there.
We also had a road safety crash reconstruction outside the Hallam uni. It was a freezing day and me and Hutch were just passing through, but we stayed as I was determined to see the roof of a Vauxhall Corsa get cut off. Still it was Valentines day, the most commercial of events...An event which I swear to god most couples dont celebrate anymore. But anyway, its supposed to be a day of joy, and believe me im all for hard hitting campaigns but this reconstruction maybe was a little strong for midday on a valentines day.
The woman was strewn across the car bonnet and was then hoisted down and the paramedics worked on her. However after about 10 minutes the tannoy bloke says.
"Unfortunately the girl has died" Now this is understandable, but I still dont see the need for him having to say this after.
"The only place she will be going tonight is to the mortuary". I mean bloody hell? We got the picture from the corpse lying on the floor, with a blanket over it and he said she was dead. Is there a need for a wise crack? This is not an Arnie film.
Maybe I should make more wisecracks concerning the deaths of people. NOW WOULDNT THAT BE FUN?
I alo hope I get this job, im sort of looking forward to the spontanuity...spell check please... I could be located here, or over there. Who knows? Makes it sound exciting. In a way. Still if Rachel goes off to uni we wont see as much of each other as she will need to focus on work and I on my placement. If I want to do some travelling I may as well do it now rather than 5 years down the line when it will be too late. Hmmm oh well, too early to think about such matters I need heated bread smothered in dairy products.
I can't help but notice the standards on my course again. They make me look like a bloody genious. People who can't divide numbers, cant produce simple mathematical equations and others who just can't do anything other than tell your mum jokes.
Sitting in a lecture, about the perils of horse hair plaster and other such bastardry items. Horse hair plaster contains anthrax. The lecturer then calls out "does anybody know what anthrax is"?
The reply from a student behind was a good one if he was joking "They're a band". Luckily because the room is filled with 90's dance converts who follow indiepiss (as opposed to indie) music now, they didn't understand a fecking word of what was being said. The lecturer must have wished for an early death that night, he really cannot get through to half of them, none of them can.
About most things in general, is it really hard for people to open their eyes and see what the rest of the world is doing? To know about other things other than things that affect their personal lives? I dont want to be one of those bastards who makes a big song and dance about someone not knowing something, I dont do it for laughs, I dont find it funny. I really find it incredible and somewhat demoralising when someone doesnt know if Malta is an island or a sweet product.
Mmmmm thats a tasty Malta right there.
We also had a road safety crash reconstruction outside the Hallam uni. It was a freezing day and me and Hutch were just passing through, but we stayed as I was determined to see the roof of a Vauxhall Corsa get cut off. Still it was Valentines day, the most commercial of events...An event which I swear to god most couples dont celebrate anymore. But anyway, its supposed to be a day of joy, and believe me im all for hard hitting campaigns but this reconstruction maybe was a little strong for midday on a valentines day.
The woman was strewn across the car bonnet and was then hoisted down and the paramedics worked on her. However after about 10 minutes the tannoy bloke says.
"Unfortunately the girl has died" Now this is understandable, but I still dont see the need for him having to say this after.
"The only place she will be going tonight is to the mortuary". I mean bloody hell? We got the picture from the corpse lying on the floor, with a blanket over it and he said she was dead. Is there a need for a wise crack? This is not an Arnie film.
Maybe I should make more wisecracks concerning the deaths of people. NOW WOULDNT THAT BE FUN?
I alo hope I get this job, im sort of looking forward to the spontanuity...spell check please... I could be located here, or over there. Who knows? Makes it sound exciting. In a way. Still if Rachel goes off to uni we wont see as much of each other as she will need to focus on work and I on my placement. If I want to do some travelling I may as well do it now rather than 5 years down the line when it will be too late. Hmmm oh well, too early to think about such matters I need heated bread smothered in dairy products.
Sunday, 3 February 2008
God only knows
And im not even religious.
Since I last wrote I have managed to produce a Jam Roly Poly that was akin to that of a block of lard. The recipe said to use greaseproof paper, first time round I just buttered some foil and it worked brilliantly, made a really good roly poly. This time I buy some greaseproof and it turned my entire cake to grease. Bit bizarre as the majority of the paper had become grease.
In addition, when making my second Chocolate Fudge Cake, this time following the recipe despite my first make-shift effort being rather good, has somehow got a bizarre taste on the sauce/fudge. From now on I say bollocks to recipes I'll do it my own way.
Other wise this week has mainly gone by rather quickly, with me getting increasingly frustrated throughout. What with a girlfriend who lives a billion miles the other way, and everything else just getting on my tits. The people on my course just seem to be getting thicker and thicker constantly. This week they were all going mental about some fire safety calculations and having a go at the lecturer as they couldnt keep up/do rounding or percentages. Some great quotes being...
"What?! Why the fuck are we multiplying by 100? What the fucks goin' on"...."It must be something to do with the length of the wall I guess".
All I can say to the people reading this is, don't let anyone who's been to Hallam and not got over a 2:1 touch your house. For the love of god, just tell them to fuck off. They'll be the death of you.
In addition to this, and to my ever growing list of mad lecturers, the latest one looks like Mugabe. This is all I bastard need, and I can't understand a thing he says and during lecturers me sways in and out when on the microphone so all you here is...
"heLLO my name is MUGABE" Which can be very tedious as he teaches some shit about services in buildings.
Ahhh well, I can see this being a year where Bob Dylan music is going to have to pull me through it. On the plus side I got offered a job by Balfour Beatty Rail, which is a bit good but it could mean tha tnext year I could be all over the shot and travelling everywhere.
I also had a comical phone interview with Carillion, I was semi-pissed and my notes were all ready and done, I'd read them through and I was feeling confident. However when it came to it, I was infatuated by the sexy ladys voice and I couldnt string a sentence together. A massive difference to the Balfour phone interview which was really good.
In a nutshell I said I knew nothing about the company, I hated group working with other people who are crap at what they do. That when working part time in the local pub, that a majority of the staff are completely useless. I came across as a babbling nutter who hates people. Slightly accurate in hindsight but not great in an interview. However in construction nothing surprises me, and sure enough 2 hours later I get an email saying that I've passed the first stage and Im through to the face to face interviews. Such low standards. I wouldnt have hired myself on that performance, why the feck should they?
Nutters. Nutters everywhere.
Also I can't wait for someone to boycott EGG and their shitty EGG credit cards. Its an utter joke that they can cancel the credit cards with 35 days notice to customers it "no longer wishes to lend money to". Despite these people paying their credit off as soon as they can and having excellent credit ratings. Yet Egg somehow keep the cards registered to people with poor credit ratings, maxed out cards and ever increasing debts. Profit maximising bastards. Even I say it as being wrong and Im a capitalist to be frank, im not going to sit here and talk about saving the world or being a communist like most other pathetic socialist students. Who are all talk and no action.Lets face it, at the end of the day most students are money driven and have lots of lovely ipods etc, so the concept of them being all sharing, all giving whores of society makes me laugh.
But yeah, heres to EGG going bankrupt. Cheers.
Since I last wrote I have managed to produce a Jam Roly Poly that was akin to that of a block of lard. The recipe said to use greaseproof paper, first time round I just buttered some foil and it worked brilliantly, made a really good roly poly. This time I buy some greaseproof and it turned my entire cake to grease. Bit bizarre as the majority of the paper had become grease.
In addition, when making my second Chocolate Fudge Cake, this time following the recipe despite my first make-shift effort being rather good, has somehow got a bizarre taste on the sauce/fudge. From now on I say bollocks to recipes I'll do it my own way.
Other wise this week has mainly gone by rather quickly, with me getting increasingly frustrated throughout. What with a girlfriend who lives a billion miles the other way, and everything else just getting on my tits. The people on my course just seem to be getting thicker and thicker constantly. This week they were all going mental about some fire safety calculations and having a go at the lecturer as they couldnt keep up/do rounding or percentages. Some great quotes being...
"What?! Why the fuck are we multiplying by 100? What the fucks goin' on"...."It must be something to do with the length of the wall I guess".
All I can say to the people reading this is, don't let anyone who's been to Hallam and not got over a 2:1 touch your house. For the love of god, just tell them to fuck off. They'll be the death of you.
In addition to this, and to my ever growing list of mad lecturers, the latest one looks like Mugabe. This is all I bastard need, and I can't understand a thing he says and during lecturers me sways in and out when on the microphone so all you here is...
"heLLO my name is MUGABE" Which can be very tedious as he teaches some shit about services in buildings.
Ahhh well, I can see this being a year where Bob Dylan music is going to have to pull me through it. On the plus side I got offered a job by Balfour Beatty Rail, which is a bit good but it could mean tha tnext year I could be all over the shot and travelling everywhere.
I also had a comical phone interview with Carillion, I was semi-pissed and my notes were all ready and done, I'd read them through and I was feeling confident. However when it came to it, I was infatuated by the sexy ladys voice and I couldnt string a sentence together. A massive difference to the Balfour phone interview which was really good.
In a nutshell I said I knew nothing about the company, I hated group working with other people who are crap at what they do. That when working part time in the local pub, that a majority of the staff are completely useless. I came across as a babbling nutter who hates people. Slightly accurate in hindsight but not great in an interview. However in construction nothing surprises me, and sure enough 2 hours later I get an email saying that I've passed the first stage and Im through to the face to face interviews. Such low standards. I wouldnt have hired myself on that performance, why the feck should they?
Nutters. Nutters everywhere.
Also I can't wait for someone to boycott EGG and their shitty EGG credit cards. Its an utter joke that they can cancel the credit cards with 35 days notice to customers it "no longer wishes to lend money to". Despite these people paying their credit off as soon as they can and having excellent credit ratings. Yet Egg somehow keep the cards registered to people with poor credit ratings, maxed out cards and ever increasing debts. Profit maximising bastards. Even I say it as being wrong and Im a capitalist to be frank, im not going to sit here and talk about saving the world or being a communist like most other pathetic socialist students. Who are all talk and no action.Lets face it, at the end of the day most students are money driven and have lots of lovely ipods etc, so the concept of them being all sharing, all giving whores of society makes me laugh.
But yeah, heres to EGG going bankrupt. Cheers.
Monday, 21 January 2008
Dear diary, Lorna is being a knob, she is wearing clothes again, this is making me sick...so sick infact that im being sick. When will this shit riddled piss mattress stop bastardising the western world. The shithead. Knob. Lorna Lorna Lorna, why does her name rhyme with Sauna, her skin is white for fucking christs knob.
I am writing this, as she is listening to me dictate it, slowly, as my mouth cannot keep up with my hands as they type. She is questioning me, and her mouth movements do not fit in with the music am playing. She sounds fuck all, like Ian Curtis, but she has the same sizes tits as he did not. Wankers.
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Have you put it in the oven
How about in the fridge
I do hope you havn't woven
It into Midge (Ure)
Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamowerLorna mower, lornamower
Bell ends.
I am writing this, as she is listening to me dictate it, slowly, as my mouth cannot keep up with my hands as they type. She is questioning me, and her mouth movements do not fit in with the music am playing. She sounds fuck all, like Ian Curtis, but she has the same sizes tits as he did not. Wankers.
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Lorna Lorna
Where's my beef
Have you put it in the oven
How about in the fridge
I do hope you havn't woven
It into Midge (Ure)
Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamower Lorna mower, lornamowerLorna mower, lornamower
Bell ends.
Saturday, 19 January 2008
Wooden peg
This week has been mainly full of shite and exams. Why exams cannot be in once place around the university is beyond me, you usually spend half of your time on exam day actually finding the place. Wondering all corners on the city aimlessly looking for something that contains a hundred desks.
The final exam taken was in a gym in the main city campus building, but every chair in the hall was un-oiled. Every movement by all 200 people in the room was rewarded with a creak. It was fantastic when everyone sat down and stood up. And I must say to the twat who kept fidgeting a few seats away from me, you utter fuckslammer.
I also fear that one of my favoruite students on my course has not made it to the second year this year, however I have been seeing him here and there around the city and uni all year. Which is odd, he might still think he's on the course. Wouldn't surprise me.
This guy is the type who turns up to a class every blue moon, and last year I met him when I was outside waiting for a lecture and writing a letter to Rachel (the girlfriend) when he just walks up to me and says "what are you writing"? I found this to be a rather hard question to answer considering it was the last thing I expected to hear from a complete stranger. So I can him a good old simple answer..."a letter". He seemed undettered by this and continued to probe, "what for"? and "whats in it"? I couldn't help but feel was taking the piss, but before I had to answer he had to leave, there may just be a god out there it seemed.
However from this day forth in the first year everytime he turned up to a class he would make a beeline for me and then say nothing but "whats that"? when pointing at he work I was doing. Answers included 'A drawings', 'a pen', 'a divison sign' and a personal favoruite 'a wooden peg'.
This latter one came about when we were studying the fascinating world of soil identification. Using a wooden peg to make a crude establishment of the soil type. Here we had a piece of paper with a massively complicated table and graph...and on the other side a drawing...of a wooden peg. Now to someone who hasnt turned up to a lecture in about 3 months you'd think the question would be on the graph and table...but oh no. He asks me about the wooden peg.
"whats tha?" (bear in mind he also has a strong scouse accent and is a bit dim-witted).
"errr...its a wooden peg" (I tried to give it more explanation but I just couldn't).
"wha's one of them"
And to this day I regard my answer as one of the finest I have ever given to a grown man.
"Its a peg...made of wood"
I even kept a straight face, my friend next to me was clearly struggling to keep it in but he bravely managed it. The nutter however was clearly delighted with the answer and responded enthusiastically with "ahhh right, I see now". So fair play to him, from that day on he became wooden peg...it sounds like a super hero.
FROM THAT DAY FORTH HE WAS KNOWN AS...THE WOODEN PEG.
Could have a tagline of "Round peg, square hole" etc.
In other news, I cant stand Sheffield United fans, moaning bastards. I've purchased viva pinata on the pc...and im breeding rabbit pinatas like there is no tommorow. Im bored a hell now the exams are done but I feel much better for completing them. I have heard no news on my job interview. And I dont like the elderly, unless they're playing drums or discussing the topic of 'youths'.
Other than this I really cannot think of much else.
Oh yeah there was a drunkard near my flat who'd obviously just come out of the local job centre in sheffield and was nursing a can of stella. He was walking up the road ahead of me stopping at even tree on the pavement, and kicking and jumping up and down in the gravel thats bedded beneath them, clearly having a whale of a time. I decided to keep my distance and see how it all developed as he suddenly started pointing at swearing at buildings, starting with the job centre.
"fucking bunch of bastards" and "wankers"
During the distance to the next tree, it was either he was lowering his standards of choice in which building to pick on, or he had a natural hatred of the built environment...however im banking on him being pissed to the point of near blindness. He was pointing and making gestures of all sorts at every building he could make out to be a building. He called the car sales place which sells lotus' "Dickheads". And as for the run down club, they were "wankers" just like the job centre. He was clearly loving it. And on that I decided to leave him too it and make a hasty exit. I wonder what he's doing now, the nutter.
I hope he runs a Creché. Badly. I hope he ignore Health & Safety. Them ball pits best have some asbestos balls in then.
The final exam taken was in a gym in the main city campus building, but every chair in the hall was un-oiled. Every movement by all 200 people in the room was rewarded with a creak. It was fantastic when everyone sat down and stood up. And I must say to the twat who kept fidgeting a few seats away from me, you utter fuckslammer.
I also fear that one of my favoruite students on my course has not made it to the second year this year, however I have been seeing him here and there around the city and uni all year. Which is odd, he might still think he's on the course. Wouldn't surprise me.
This guy is the type who turns up to a class every blue moon, and last year I met him when I was outside waiting for a lecture and writing a letter to Rachel (the girlfriend) when he just walks up to me and says "what are you writing"? I found this to be a rather hard question to answer considering it was the last thing I expected to hear from a complete stranger. So I can him a good old simple answer..."a letter". He seemed undettered by this and continued to probe, "what for"? and "whats in it"? I couldn't help but feel was taking the piss, but before I had to answer he had to leave, there may just be a god out there it seemed.
However from this day forth in the first year everytime he turned up to a class he would make a beeline for me and then say nothing but "whats that"? when pointing at he work I was doing. Answers included 'A drawings', 'a pen', 'a divison sign' and a personal favoruite 'a wooden peg'.
This latter one came about when we were studying the fascinating world of soil identification. Using a wooden peg to make a crude establishment of the soil type. Here we had a piece of paper with a massively complicated table and graph...and on the other side a drawing...of a wooden peg. Now to someone who hasnt turned up to a lecture in about 3 months you'd think the question would be on the graph and table...but oh no. He asks me about the wooden peg.
"whats tha?" (bear in mind he also has a strong scouse accent and is a bit dim-witted).
"errr...its a wooden peg" (I tried to give it more explanation but I just couldn't).
"wha's one of them"
And to this day I regard my answer as one of the finest I have ever given to a grown man.
"Its a peg...made of wood"
I even kept a straight face, my friend next to me was clearly struggling to keep it in but he bravely managed it. The nutter however was clearly delighted with the answer and responded enthusiastically with "ahhh right, I see now". So fair play to him, from that day on he became wooden peg...it sounds like a super hero.
FROM THAT DAY FORTH HE WAS KNOWN AS...THE WOODEN PEG.
Could have a tagline of "Round peg, square hole" etc.
In other news, I cant stand Sheffield United fans, moaning bastards. I've purchased viva pinata on the pc...and im breeding rabbit pinatas like there is no tommorow. Im bored a hell now the exams are done but I feel much better for completing them. I have heard no news on my job interview. And I dont like the elderly, unless they're playing drums or discussing the topic of 'youths'.
Other than this I really cannot think of much else.
Oh yeah there was a drunkard near my flat who'd obviously just come out of the local job centre in sheffield and was nursing a can of stella. He was walking up the road ahead of me stopping at even tree on the pavement, and kicking and jumping up and down in the gravel thats bedded beneath them, clearly having a whale of a time. I decided to keep my distance and see how it all developed as he suddenly started pointing at swearing at buildings, starting with the job centre.
"fucking bunch of bastards" and "wankers"
During the distance to the next tree, it was either he was lowering his standards of choice in which building to pick on, or he had a natural hatred of the built environment...however im banking on him being pissed to the point of near blindness. He was pointing and making gestures of all sorts at every building he could make out to be a building. He called the car sales place which sells lotus' "Dickheads". And as for the run down club, they were "wankers" just like the job centre. He was clearly loving it. And on that I decided to leave him too it and make a hasty exit. I wonder what he's doing now, the nutter.
I hope he runs a Creché. Badly. I hope he ignore Health & Safety. Them ball pits best have some asbestos balls in then.
Friday, 11 January 2008
How I see the world
I've wrote many things in the past, some comical, others just thoughts. However once I get going im hard to stop. It is good to write, even if they're your own thoughts and when you live in the country in a small, dim, cut-off village with no amenities other than a rusted post-box, you get alot of time to yourself. Therefore I do a fair bit of thinking and writing.
Despite being 19, I feel like im knocking on the door of 40 and awaiting a mid-life crisis. Maybe because all I see everyday is stupidity and I cannot truly see the point to doing many things in life. People are always pressuring us to earn money, drive fast cars, own big homes and consume consume consume. What really is the point? If you decide to stop and only obtain what you need in life, everyone scrutinizes you. They look upon on you as if you are conjuring up a dastardly plan for world domination or that you are plotting their downfall.
Around 3 years ago I had some pretty strong views. God knows what happened but I am not the same person I used to be by a long way. I used to be consistently angry with the world and want to change things, all I do now is except things as they are and think “let it be”. For 3 years to breed such contempt for everything I once despaired over destroys me inside, it really does.
I can’t stand my own generation. One full of image conscious, media blinded fools who follow ‘fashionable’ politics. They rave about helping the poor, feeding Africa and solving social deprivation with 'cool' communist ideologies. Yet all they seem to do is purchase an I-pod, put on some Converse, stage a music festival and wear Che Guevara T-shirts. To see these so called ‘communists’ flaunting such wealth makes me sigh at the hypocrisy. A generation in which ‘fun’ is defined as getting drunk, where ‘drunk’ is classified as ‘comatose’. A generation which declares it suffers from the ‘stresses’ of a modern world, using it as an excuse to act like twats or take hardline drugs.
On that point, why do people do things to fit in with everyone else? It is pathetic to see people smoking weed or whatever only when someone else offers it. I honestly do not get the whole drug culture, and how its seen as being cool and fashionable. I truly hate it when people try to impress others with their drug taking history. Who gives a fuck? Whats that? You've done crack? Oh woop dee doo, let me cosult my 'Do I Give A Shit-ometer', it flashing up on "Fuck off" it seems. If you need a drug to get your kicks or fit in better, then frankly thats a bit bastard shit for you, you insecure bastards. There again, each to their own.
I despise those older than me for their constant put downs to the generations below. A usual rant every summer when exam scores are released is...
“Exams are getting too easy nowadays, now in my day when we had the O level…now they were a challenge”
Why do they see such high pass rates? Maybe because they created a society where anyone who doesn’t get good enough grades to get into higher education disappears into borderline poverty. They raised the stakes and they can’t stand to see that the generation below them has risen to the challenge and upped the bar. They give no gratitude, no encouragement, nothing. Then wonder why the so called ‘youth of today’ have ‘gone off the rails’. They once were given respect, they gave us none back. Respect must be nurtured; it doesn’t maintain itself, like a plant, it will wilt over the course of time. The rot started here, the contempt started here, it all starts here. What we are burdened with now spreads its roots here, with a generation which settles disputes on chat shows and in courtrooms.
We’re a society that’s quite rare, it is one that’s never experienced a war, and from what I can see, this is a bad thing. As horrible as that is to hear, it’s true. No one wants to work together with each other, everyone’s against one another. There is no pride in this nation and no desire to keep it strong and secure. Many blame it on, foreign nationals or those of different religion and culture. This however is just a scapegoat, just like in Nazi Germany in the 1930’s where Jews were used as a tool to place the blame. However, as was the case then, the real issue lies within the state itself. It is to blame for its lack of pride in itself. Not decent upstanding foreigners who come over here to slog their arses off to do jobs the average Englishman can no longer be arsed to do, as he’d rather take the social benefits instead of some real work. We do not focus on the majority who come over here to make something of theselves. Instead we focus on the minority who do not adapt to our society and yes, I admit, these people must be dealt with to prevent re-occurence. The reason this country has gone to shit however, is a lack of people wanting to work, to pull their fingers out of their arses and stop blaming everyone else. The lack of responsibility is frankly appalling.
(If you've got this far then bugger me, you're doing well).
The younger section of society blames everything on capitalism. It is supposedly ‘cool’ to blame such a system. There are people everywhere shouting and screaming about communism and socialism. Like it’d make any difference whatsoever? No system works in a society. We’re all too obnoxious to do anything to help ourselves. The human race is a curse unto itself it seems.
While im at it, I must say the one thing that really irritates me is religion. The human races one great flaw, religion, the unwavering need to believe in something ‘unworldly’…and why? For ‘comfort and sanctity’ from the world it seems according to those who I ask. So we believe in things we cannot prove or grasp and understand in order to provide comfort? Such things only provide comfort to those who are contempt with not challenging anything in life. How can there be a religion in a world full of hate and despair? What sort of sick, sadist of a god gets a kick out of rape, murder, genocide, infanticide and natural disaster? Is god Fred West? I bastard hope not. No a god of mine could ever exist in a world like this. I can’t help but feel that everyone in this world should believe in themselves, and each other, not in false teachings, supposedly holy books, artefacts and gods. If we just believed in ourselves and those around us, maybe just maybe, we would become a decent race that progresses. Maybe this accounts for another reason for why I am feeling the way I am, why I feel empty and that I’m missing something, because I refuse to believe in anything other than myself? Or is it because I cannot find anyone out there to believe in me? Who knows?
Religion is simply a tool, propaganda if you must, to rally once separated peoples under one banner, to unite them against a common enemy. Emperor Constantine of the Roman Empire, a man celebrated much by Christians. He brought Christianity to the Roman Empire, and why? The empire had an increasing number of Christians within it and some Romans worshipping traditional Roman gods. It was too difficult to divide his people on the grounds of him vs. his enemy…however he could easily divide them by religion, and he could gain a stronger support but converting his empire to Christianity. God is a weapon. Why does the bible keep changing and evolving? Supposedly to reflect the state of society, how can a religious document do this? Religion is always used as a weapon by those in seemingly untenable positions. Religion causes regression. It has never been any other way.
The Media is another aspect of our society which further aids regression. It fuels the fire of discontent at the back of fragile and somewhat dim-witted minds with their propaganda. The phrasing of stories to portray their views no matter what the occasion would delight any soothsayer.
I’ve witnessed those close to me slowly get caught and manipulated by media writing especially from newspapers to believe twisted versions of the truth. I suppose this transition has been one of the big causes of my disillusionment with society as a whole. These causes range from political to that of musical and social disillusionment. Nothing applies to me any more. Nothing is specific to me. New music, new trends, new phases, new movements, new cultures, new ideologies (or re-branded ones it seems), none apply to me. I see myself turning further back in time for music, inspiration and influence. I see myself losing acquaintances at a faster rate than I acquire them. I find myself stuck in a rut, in a black hole that only devours me. I can’t bear the country I live in, the city of my birth, my fellow locals, any of it. All I see is a rise in local loyalties and extreme nationalism. What’s next? Feudalism? Will we go to war with the French? For old times sake at least? I find it all increasingly pathetic. The world moves on and this country and my home town just does not seem to move with it.
I come from Stoke-on-Trent, a city made up of towns, which for some ungodly reason have been linked together through the endless urban sprawl we get due to slack laws on green field developments. Stoke and its inhabitants like 50 years behind the rest of the UK. It thinks it should still be mining seams of coal and producing pottery despite the rest of the world doing all this at a much cheaper (and in some cases better) products. Stoke is full of backward thinking, illiterate, dull, dim-witted individuals with cave-man personas. When people ask where I come from, what the hell do I say? "Outside of Stoke", to say you're from it automatically associates it either Shit or Robbie Williams, and believe me they're pratically one of the same. Stokies in a nut shell spend far too long thinking about what it has been. They don't turn their attention to what it is becoming. A half way point in the UK, where haulage companies and supermarkets build distribution warehouses. Where the old industrial sector has an alarming growth in safe storage lock ups. Is this the future of stoke? If so, see you all later, Im off.
I used to love Stoke, I once had a great pride in it, that was until I actually looked at it in more detail, I looked behind the facades of shops, down alleyways, in the rougher areas. I looked at the queue outside the job centre. I sat down on a bench in the centre of the high street and watched. Bastard hell, I saw some shit that day. Still, I have a wierd love for the football team and I will never know why.
If we were to uncover the main reason behind everything that has caused me to be where I am now it would revolve around politics. A nation that has over a decade of one party rule, under the same head of state is not a democracy. Society changes rapidly, far outpacing governments and policy. How can a government justify a 4 to 5 year period of power without a change between these periods of governor or anything? It can never maintain such popularity over this period therefore. This creates a bigger number of people turning against the party. This just creates disillusionment. Once an election has been won, the defeated are demoralised. They effectively can do nothing until the next election. This applies not only to parties but also to the people. These people then drift aimlessly and try to exploit minor openings and claim petty victories.
All that needs to be done every election is to alternate between Labour and Conversative, even a change as simple as that will introduce massive differences. There will no longer be stupid 10 year plans, projects will be completed quicker, goals will be achievable and there will not be as much slack behaviour from politicians. It is so bastard simple yet people just turn to the extreme parties and expect to see a change. Yes, they will get a change all right, just one that sets us back 20 years. Well done.
Despite this the UK needs revitalising. It needs a brighter future. We need to focus on development of education and create a new breed of thinkers. In the 17th century onwards we generated some of the greatest thinkers since ancient Greece. We need to re-create this, we need to develop a highly efficient and strong education system. Everything else stems from education. This is not seen in our current society. Focus goes to the economy and on unemployment and inflation etc. If we have thinkers, we innovate, we develop and change. We adapt to society and reduce disillusionment as we become society. We become the economy. The world rotates around us and this is what our focus should be on. New thinking creates new approaches, which keeps us ahead of the game
So we come back to the beginning. It seems that once you ‘grow up’ so to speak, you accept defeat. Thus allowing defeatism and inevitability become an instant part of your life. You lose your anger with the world, you forget your past hates and the things that once made your skin boil and keep you awake at night. You become complacent, and contempt despite the madness around you. You keep your head, you keep yourself, you accept the world and everyone in it as they are, and you accept that you alone cannot change a thing. It is refreshing to see that not everyone in the world has given up on making a difference. There again it depends if you are in the situation to make a difference. Some still chase their young ambitions, it is refreshing to se as we all should...We should not forget the thoughts and ambitions we once had purely because we thought (and knew) we couldnt achieve them. These are the thoughts that matter. I suppose a little part of me will always try to change and revolutionise…but it secretly knows that there is no point. I know such things should be left to those wanting to forward their careers (and sell more albums).
Growing up is all about accepting society and in a sense, the futility of everything. Knowing that you will be nothing but a small cog in a vast machine that hasn’t been well maintained. Surely the meaning of life is that there isn’t one? Or if there is then it must be simply “accept futility”. I’m sure if you’ve been reading this then you have lost me by now….long before now in fact. To be frank I’ve lost myself.
Despite being 19, I feel like im knocking on the door of 40 and awaiting a mid-life crisis. Maybe because all I see everyday is stupidity and I cannot truly see the point to doing many things in life. People are always pressuring us to earn money, drive fast cars, own big homes and consume consume consume. What really is the point? If you decide to stop and only obtain what you need in life, everyone scrutinizes you. They look upon on you as if you are conjuring up a dastardly plan for world domination or that you are plotting their downfall.
Around 3 years ago I had some pretty strong views. God knows what happened but I am not the same person I used to be by a long way. I used to be consistently angry with the world and want to change things, all I do now is except things as they are and think “let it be”. For 3 years to breed such contempt for everything I once despaired over destroys me inside, it really does.
I can’t stand my own generation. One full of image conscious, media blinded fools who follow ‘fashionable’ politics. They rave about helping the poor, feeding Africa and solving social deprivation with 'cool' communist ideologies. Yet all they seem to do is purchase an I-pod, put on some Converse, stage a music festival and wear Che Guevara T-shirts. To see these so called ‘communists’ flaunting such wealth makes me sigh at the hypocrisy. A generation in which ‘fun’ is defined as getting drunk, where ‘drunk’ is classified as ‘comatose’. A generation which declares it suffers from the ‘stresses’ of a modern world, using it as an excuse to act like twats or take hardline drugs.
On that point, why do people do things to fit in with everyone else? It is pathetic to see people smoking weed or whatever only when someone else offers it. I honestly do not get the whole drug culture, and how its seen as being cool and fashionable. I truly hate it when people try to impress others with their drug taking history. Who gives a fuck? Whats that? You've done crack? Oh woop dee doo, let me cosult my 'Do I Give A Shit-ometer', it flashing up on "Fuck off" it seems. If you need a drug to get your kicks or fit in better, then frankly thats a bit bastard shit for you, you insecure bastards. There again, each to their own.
I despise those older than me for their constant put downs to the generations below. A usual rant every summer when exam scores are released is...
“Exams are getting too easy nowadays, now in my day when we had the O level…now they were a challenge”
Why do they see such high pass rates? Maybe because they created a society where anyone who doesn’t get good enough grades to get into higher education disappears into borderline poverty. They raised the stakes and they can’t stand to see that the generation below them has risen to the challenge and upped the bar. They give no gratitude, no encouragement, nothing. Then wonder why the so called ‘youth of today’ have ‘gone off the rails’. They once were given respect, they gave us none back. Respect must be nurtured; it doesn’t maintain itself, like a plant, it will wilt over the course of time. The rot started here, the contempt started here, it all starts here. What we are burdened with now spreads its roots here, with a generation which settles disputes on chat shows and in courtrooms.
We’re a society that’s quite rare, it is one that’s never experienced a war, and from what I can see, this is a bad thing. As horrible as that is to hear, it’s true. No one wants to work together with each other, everyone’s against one another. There is no pride in this nation and no desire to keep it strong and secure. Many blame it on, foreign nationals or those of different religion and culture. This however is just a scapegoat, just like in Nazi Germany in the 1930’s where Jews were used as a tool to place the blame. However, as was the case then, the real issue lies within the state itself. It is to blame for its lack of pride in itself. Not decent upstanding foreigners who come over here to slog their arses off to do jobs the average Englishman can no longer be arsed to do, as he’d rather take the social benefits instead of some real work. We do not focus on the majority who come over here to make something of theselves. Instead we focus on the minority who do not adapt to our society and yes, I admit, these people must be dealt with to prevent re-occurence. The reason this country has gone to shit however, is a lack of people wanting to work, to pull their fingers out of their arses and stop blaming everyone else. The lack of responsibility is frankly appalling.
(If you've got this far then bugger me, you're doing well).
The younger section of society blames everything on capitalism. It is supposedly ‘cool’ to blame such a system. There are people everywhere shouting and screaming about communism and socialism. Like it’d make any difference whatsoever? No system works in a society. We’re all too obnoxious to do anything to help ourselves. The human race is a curse unto itself it seems.
While im at it, I must say the one thing that really irritates me is religion. The human races one great flaw, religion, the unwavering need to believe in something ‘unworldly’…and why? For ‘comfort and sanctity’ from the world it seems according to those who I ask. So we believe in things we cannot prove or grasp and understand in order to provide comfort? Such things only provide comfort to those who are contempt with not challenging anything in life. How can there be a religion in a world full of hate and despair? What sort of sick, sadist of a god gets a kick out of rape, murder, genocide, infanticide and natural disaster? Is god Fred West? I bastard hope not. No a god of mine could ever exist in a world like this. I can’t help but feel that everyone in this world should believe in themselves, and each other, not in false teachings, supposedly holy books, artefacts and gods. If we just believed in ourselves and those around us, maybe just maybe, we would become a decent race that progresses. Maybe this accounts for another reason for why I am feeling the way I am, why I feel empty and that I’m missing something, because I refuse to believe in anything other than myself? Or is it because I cannot find anyone out there to believe in me? Who knows?
Religion is simply a tool, propaganda if you must, to rally once separated peoples under one banner, to unite them against a common enemy. Emperor Constantine of the Roman Empire, a man celebrated much by Christians. He brought Christianity to the Roman Empire, and why? The empire had an increasing number of Christians within it and some Romans worshipping traditional Roman gods. It was too difficult to divide his people on the grounds of him vs. his enemy…however he could easily divide them by religion, and he could gain a stronger support but converting his empire to Christianity. God is a weapon. Why does the bible keep changing and evolving? Supposedly to reflect the state of society, how can a religious document do this? Religion is always used as a weapon by those in seemingly untenable positions. Religion causes regression. It has never been any other way.
The Media is another aspect of our society which further aids regression. It fuels the fire of discontent at the back of fragile and somewhat dim-witted minds with their propaganda. The phrasing of stories to portray their views no matter what the occasion would delight any soothsayer.
I’ve witnessed those close to me slowly get caught and manipulated by media writing especially from newspapers to believe twisted versions of the truth. I suppose this transition has been one of the big causes of my disillusionment with society as a whole. These causes range from political to that of musical and social disillusionment. Nothing applies to me any more. Nothing is specific to me. New music, new trends, new phases, new movements, new cultures, new ideologies (or re-branded ones it seems), none apply to me. I see myself turning further back in time for music, inspiration and influence. I see myself losing acquaintances at a faster rate than I acquire them. I find myself stuck in a rut, in a black hole that only devours me. I can’t bear the country I live in, the city of my birth, my fellow locals, any of it. All I see is a rise in local loyalties and extreme nationalism. What’s next? Feudalism? Will we go to war with the French? For old times sake at least? I find it all increasingly pathetic. The world moves on and this country and my home town just does not seem to move with it.
I come from Stoke-on-Trent, a city made up of towns, which for some ungodly reason have been linked together through the endless urban sprawl we get due to slack laws on green field developments. Stoke and its inhabitants like 50 years behind the rest of the UK. It thinks it should still be mining seams of coal and producing pottery despite the rest of the world doing all this at a much cheaper (and in some cases better) products. Stoke is full of backward thinking, illiterate, dull, dim-witted individuals with cave-man personas. When people ask where I come from, what the hell do I say? "Outside of Stoke", to say you're from it automatically associates it either Shit or Robbie Williams, and believe me they're pratically one of the same. Stokies in a nut shell spend far too long thinking about what it has been. They don't turn their attention to what it is becoming. A half way point in the UK, where haulage companies and supermarkets build distribution warehouses. Where the old industrial sector has an alarming growth in safe storage lock ups. Is this the future of stoke? If so, see you all later, Im off.
I used to love Stoke, I once had a great pride in it, that was until I actually looked at it in more detail, I looked behind the facades of shops, down alleyways, in the rougher areas. I looked at the queue outside the job centre. I sat down on a bench in the centre of the high street and watched. Bastard hell, I saw some shit that day. Still, I have a wierd love for the football team and I will never know why.
If we were to uncover the main reason behind everything that has caused me to be where I am now it would revolve around politics. A nation that has over a decade of one party rule, under the same head of state is not a democracy. Society changes rapidly, far outpacing governments and policy. How can a government justify a 4 to 5 year period of power without a change between these periods of governor or anything? It can never maintain such popularity over this period therefore. This creates a bigger number of people turning against the party. This just creates disillusionment. Once an election has been won, the defeated are demoralised. They effectively can do nothing until the next election. This applies not only to parties but also to the people. These people then drift aimlessly and try to exploit minor openings and claim petty victories.
All that needs to be done every election is to alternate between Labour and Conversative, even a change as simple as that will introduce massive differences. There will no longer be stupid 10 year plans, projects will be completed quicker, goals will be achievable and there will not be as much slack behaviour from politicians. It is so bastard simple yet people just turn to the extreme parties and expect to see a change. Yes, they will get a change all right, just one that sets us back 20 years. Well done.
Despite this the UK needs revitalising. It needs a brighter future. We need to focus on development of education and create a new breed of thinkers. In the 17th century onwards we generated some of the greatest thinkers since ancient Greece. We need to re-create this, we need to develop a highly efficient and strong education system. Everything else stems from education. This is not seen in our current society. Focus goes to the economy and on unemployment and inflation etc. If we have thinkers, we innovate, we develop and change. We adapt to society and reduce disillusionment as we become society. We become the economy. The world rotates around us and this is what our focus should be on. New thinking creates new approaches, which keeps us ahead of the game
So we come back to the beginning. It seems that once you ‘grow up’ so to speak, you accept defeat. Thus allowing defeatism and inevitability become an instant part of your life. You lose your anger with the world, you forget your past hates and the things that once made your skin boil and keep you awake at night. You become complacent, and contempt despite the madness around you. You keep your head, you keep yourself, you accept the world and everyone in it as they are, and you accept that you alone cannot change a thing. It is refreshing to see that not everyone in the world has given up on making a difference. There again it depends if you are in the situation to make a difference. Some still chase their young ambitions, it is refreshing to se as we all should...We should not forget the thoughts and ambitions we once had purely because we thought (and knew) we couldnt achieve them. These are the thoughts that matter. I suppose a little part of me will always try to change and revolutionise…but it secretly knows that there is no point. I know such things should be left to those wanting to forward their careers (and sell more albums).
Growing up is all about accepting society and in a sense, the futility of everything. Knowing that you will be nothing but a small cog in a vast machine that hasn’t been well maintained. Surely the meaning of life is that there isn’t one? Or if there is then it must be simply “accept futility”. I’m sure if you’ve been reading this then you have lost me by now….long before now in fact. To be frank I’ve lost myself.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
A word of advice
When purchasing a new laptop/pc, and you'e looking at space and amount of Gig the computer has. Don't just look for the highest as this usually means one thing.
2 bastard hard drives. This means 2 bastard hard drives that must be defragmented separately. So far its been going for about...oooh 32 hours. Okay I admit this isnt the worst I've had considering this is a pretty good laptop, he old PC once took 3 days, there again it was shit. Im going to start it up again later it has many tasty treats such as well old files, old songs once made in the land of yore etc.
Bloody hell, im watching darts on good old BBC 2. Right before I say anything im not one to go mental over health and safety, political correctnes or racism or any shit like that. However I do notice when something could go wrong, is wrong or is just plain stupid and may offend some overly sensitive dipshit in a small corner of the world usually outside of Buckinghamshire.
But anyways, these dart players, playing for the money and glory of a world championship, they're swigging beer whilst playing some of them. Where is the health and safety in that? I like it, im infact loving it. What if one of them suddenly whips himself into a drunken rage and hurls darts into the crowd. Christ this is edge of the seat stuff.
2 bastard hard drives. This means 2 bastard hard drives that must be defragmented separately. So far its been going for about...oooh 32 hours. Okay I admit this isnt the worst I've had considering this is a pretty good laptop, he old PC once took 3 days, there again it was shit. Im going to start it up again later it has many tasty treats such as well old files, old songs once made in the land of yore etc.
Bloody hell, im watching darts on good old BBC 2. Right before I say anything im not one to go mental over health and safety, political correctnes or racism or any shit like that. However I do notice when something could go wrong, is wrong or is just plain stupid and may offend some overly sensitive dipshit in a small corner of the world usually outside of Buckinghamshire.
But anyways, these dart players, playing for the money and glory of a world championship, they're swigging beer whilst playing some of them. Where is the health and safety in that? I like it, im infact loving it. What if one of them suddenly whips himself into a drunken rage and hurls darts into the crowd. Christ this is edge of the seat stuff.
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